Design gets better with feedback, whether it's given or received. It's also important to be able to communicate why you designed something they way you did. Below shows designs with my copied-and-pasted commentary to show how I talk about design - whether it's my own design or that of a colleague's.

Colleague's Design

My Feedback

Really dig the chip idea. Feedback below:

Linework:

  • I like the linework a lot. Nice work with the standalone image
  • Not sure the logo should be a part of the illustration. The poster I did also has that element carried over from yours but looking at it closer I'm second-guessing it. The brand guidelines doc says that there must be more room around it.
  • The light bulbs have so much detail that gets clustery once zoomed out, so I'd reduce the detail or increase the size so it's consistent with the other elements.

Top Coaster:

Text at bottom seems a bit crowded. I'd reduce the size of the illustration and inject some space between lines and above and below the text to let it breathe a little more. It might also help to use camel case, which would increase readability. Finally I think the black headline should be grey to match the rest of the design - or red with the logistical information grey.

Second Coaster:

Is the inner circle purposefully not aligned with the outer circle? I'd suggest aligning them. I do like the arched text better, but it should be all-caps in this case and again I think the black text should be grey, with possibly a lighter font for the times to firmly establish a hierarchy of information.

Square Coaster Top:

Really like the border! For me there is a white box over the middle of the design; was this purposeful? I like this design better than the second: for the coaster, the arch accentuates the shape, but for this design, it's at odds with the square. I'd suggest reducing the size of the illustration, moving the headline text to the top, and adding the space I mentioned under "top coaster"

Hope that is helpful!

Thanks,
Bryce


My Design

Justification

Here I attempted to keep the top part of the logo from looking so firmly like “A17” by taking the top point on the 1 up farther than the 7, sort of wrapping up into the yellow ascender of what would be the “b.” Also I closed the gap between the bottom edges of the 1 and the 7 to complete the bottom part of the letter “b.” Additionally I removed the white spaces between the letters to solidify each shape. I think the advantage of the white spaces was that they allude to classic sports typography, but the sharp serifs I think sufficiently address that only in a more modern way.

Regarding “phonehome:” there is almost too much white space below the “A” in the top logo, so I tried to fill that in a bit with the word “PHONE.” I used all caps so it’d fit in with the allusion of children’s blocks and so it’d fit right in at the edge of the “1.” Same thinking went into the “HOME” at that right angle, and also “HOME” provides a foundation for the awkward physics of the “17.” Finally I decided to connect the “E” and the “H” to imply that it’s not “PHONE HOME” but “PHONEHOME.”